The ultimate goal of any evil ninja worth his or her salt is, naturally, to conquer the planet and bring it under the rule of our vast Shadow Empire. Herein we lift the veil of secrecy ever so slightly, that you might keep abreast of our activities.

Sure, those climbing claws look awfully sexy, but will they get you over the castle walls before sunrise? Get the skinny on all the latest accessories for the fashionable shadow warrior.

"When I first laid eyes on Sazaka, I knew it had to be love. In those carefree days at the dojo, I could just sit and watch him for hours; there was something in the way he hung from tree limbs..." Real-life confessions from evil ninjas just like you!

Your patron lord is arriving with a cadre of guards to inspect the clan's compound - but you promised that hottie in accounting that you'd be there by eight! Some helpful tips on getting out of this and other sticky situations.

When your life depends on remaining quiet and not being seen, it's easy for all that emotional steam to build up. To keep you from suddenly screaming, "Damn that lousy city council and their fencing ordinances!" while trying to observe a secret meeting as would a fly on the wall, we've given you this space to vent your thoughts and feelings as a stealth assassin.

We are but shadows, nothing more. To gaze upon our faces is to invite the cold embrace of death. But hey, we're people too, right? Learn more about our nefarious organization.

Some guy calling himself Evilninja broke into our offices one night and started writing about himself on one of our computers. When we tried to pry him off it, he cunningly stunned us with large wads of cash. Someday we'll rally our massive armies and crush him, but for now we suppose we could use the free content.

Sub-Zero sez: "This page looks best at 1024x768 resolution, with a little dijon and maybe some steamed vegetables by the side. I am stuck in this position and cannot stop moving. Please help me."

2002 Reparaz.