The Buy Bush a PlayStation 2 Campaign

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You're not out of the woods just yet, and you'll have to go through one more line-picking exercise to get out of the store. When confronted by the Greater Gate Demon that stands between you and freedom, simply show him your receipt and he'll wave you on by. If you don't show him your receipt, then he'll shrug and tell you he has no choice but to call the manager, who will devour your soul. Which means another game over. Cripes, it's just a receipt. Can't you even remember to bring it to the exit?

You're almost there! The end of level 1 is so close right now, you can almost taste it. No, really. Go up and lick the screen. Feel that kinda shocky sensation? That's what the end of the level tastes like. At this point, you'll need to go down the same steps you entered the level with, and head down into the parking garage. The PS2's positive energy will keep the roving bands of security trolls at bay, so as long as it's on your person, you needn't fear being eaten. Make your way to the red car parked in the most inconvenient space possible.

Congratulations, you've finished level 1! Press R2 to pose like a grinning idiot.

You'll now have the presidential PlayStation 2, a memory card, a Dual Shock 2 controller for Cheney and a couple of cheap games:

These last two items will do nobody any good, and are just taking up space in your inventory. Use them during the between-level shop screen to help defray the cost of "Conflict: Desert Storm" and "SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs." Once properly equipped, you should be more than ready to move on level 2.

For now, just sit back and watch the end-of-level cinema sequence.

Seriously, now. Here are the receipts and the "order confirmed" screen for the campaign's purchases, as well as a shot of "Conflict: Desert Storm." Click on the thumbnails for a larger image.

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