Frequently Asked Questions

The Buy Bush a PlayStation 2 Campaign

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Frequently Asked Questions

Who are you? I mean, really?
I'm a 25-year-old newspaper copy editor living in the San Francisco Bay Area.

So you're gay?

Why didn't you send Bush an Xbox/PS2 online adapter/copy of Grand Theft Auto/statue of Jesus playing golf?
My first idea was to create the Buy Bush an Xbox Campaign, which had a catchier ring to it. But then I realized that the Xbox weighs a ton, and would have been extra-costly to ship. There also weren't a lot of decent, super-jingoistic military games in the vein of SOCOM available for the Xbox in November. As for the online adapter, yes, I'm sure he'd get more out of it if he could play against Saddam, but adapters were near-impossible to find just before Christmas and I wasn't willing to delay the shipment any longer than necessary. Look, if Bush wants to play online, he can buy his own adapter.
Sending him Grand Theft Auto would be missing the point; while it's arguably the most cathartic game I've ever played, we're trying to channel his military aggressions into games. Since he doesn't appear to have any running-over-pedestrian or beating-up-prostitute tendencies, sending GTA would be overkill.

I want to help! How do I donate?
As much as I would like to take your money, donations are closed. The campaign raised the $370 it needed in November and the PS2 was bought and sent off to the White House. If you still want to support the anti-war effort, please sign the petition and visit Not In Our Name to see what else you can do.

I want a PlayStation! Will you buy me one?
No. Nor will I buy one for the other 500 people who thought they were being clever when they asked me that. Hey, here's an idea; why don't you go hang out at an auto show and ask the models if they come with the cars?

Can you help me set up my site to ask for donations to buy myself one, then?

Oh, you're mean! How about if I just figure it out on my own?
I'd rather you didn't, since you're basically cheapening my idea for your own personal gain, but it's not like I can stop you.

Dear Sir, we would like to buy 20 units PLAYSTATION 2. Please give us the quotation, moreso include the price of international shipping.
OK. A lot of people living in places like Pakistan and Nigeria appear to be under the impression that I am some sort of international PS2 vendor/charity. For those still unclear on the subject, allow me to spell it out: I DO NOT SELL THINGS. This site is part of a campaign to raise money to buy President Bush a PlayStation 2, games and accessories. It is not an e-business.

Are you some kind of goddamned heathen foreigner hiding behind the First Amendment?
I'm a natural-born U.S. citizen who grew up in the ultra-conservative Eastern side of Washington state. So theoretically, I could run for president in about 10 years.

Why do you oppose the War on Terror? These people blew up the World Trade Center!
I don't oppose the War on Terror, at least not in theory. I oppose what I see as the president using the War on Terror to settle the score with Iraq, a nation that had about as much to do with 9/11 as France had to do with the invasion of Iraq.

But smart weapons will ensure that no Iraqi civilians are killed, right?
"Smart weapons" didn't stop U.S. troops from accidentally blowing up a battalion of Canadian troops in Afghanistan. Nor did they prevent the bombing of a wedding in the same country. So please forgive me if I'm a little skeptical.
Update: As of 6/24/03, the Associated Press has tallied at least 3,240 confirmed civilian deaths during the war. (For reference, CNN puts the World Trade Center death toll at 2,823.) And according to London's Evening Standard, our troops did not hesitate to kill them with decidedly un-smart weapons that shot bullets of similar intelligence. Draw your own conclusions.

You pussy.
Hey, I could easily take your grandma in a fight. Probably.

That's all for now, folks. More will be added as they're asked.